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Prepare yourself for a cold hard fact: the average erect penis in Britain is five-and-a-half inches long. We might not admit to it, but so much of our time is spent adding phantom inches when bragging about our bits on various dating apps or finding the perfect angle for a dick pic that makes it look just a little bit more impressive than it does IRL. But where did that notion of bigger being better come from?

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My first boyfriend had a real big dong. I didn't know it was big because he was my first boyfriend and I hadn't watched porn really. I don't think he watched porn really I know, I knowbecause he was a sensitive artist type, so I'm not sure he knew it was a big dong either.

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In Greek mythology, Priapus was a rustic fertility god whose anatomy was marked by a colossal penis. In ancient Greece, primitive statues of him were erected in vegetable plots to simultaneously promote fertility and to frighten predators. In modern British society, the black male penis hangs somewhere between pain and promiscuity; culture and caricature as the black male attempts to move away from classic depictions of the dick towards complete decolonization 65 years after Empire Windrush traveled from Jamaica and docked at Tilbury on 22 June

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A twentysomething man had an alarming experience on a camping trip with his father and two brothers. It was like seeing a great white whale breaching alongside dolphins. None of us look strikingly like our parents, but we are clearly brothers, except for this newly discovered alien appendage on my younger brother.

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A gay bathhousealso known as a gay sauna or a gay steambathis a commercial space for men to have sex with other men. In gay slanga bathhouse may be called just "the baths," "the sauna" or "the tubs". In general, a gay bath is used for having sexual activity rather than only bathing.

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Ben Greenfield is a cult figure among fitness fanatics, a guru to the sort of nerds who devote themselves to meticulously monitoring their own biometric data for insight into their personal health. He has more than 50, Twitter followers, 60, Facebook fans, and 30, YouTube subscribes. Now he may become known for something else entirely: Injecting himself with stem cells in hopes that it will make his dick bigger.

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What more excuse do you need? Watching pornography can be a great way to bone up on technique. But remember: nobody is expecting a perfect porno reenactment.

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